The GROW Coaching Model: Stages, Questions, Example Session & When Not to Use It
GROW is the most widely used structure for a coaching conversation: Goal, Reality, Options, Will. Developed in the 1980s by Graham Alexander, Alan Fine and Sir John Whitmore, and popularised by Whitmore's Coaching for Performance, it is simple enough to learn in an afternoon and subtle enough that most coaches misuse it for years. This guide gives you ten questions per stage, a full example session, and the traps that turn GROW into an interrogation.
GROW at a glance
What is the GROW coaching model?
GROW is a sequence of four kinds of conversation. First the client and coach agree what the client wants (Goal). Then they look honestly at what is happening now (Reality). Then they open up possibilities without judging them (Options). Finally the client chooses what they will do and commits to it (Will, also written as Way forward or Wrap-up).
Two things make it work. The stages are not strictly linear — a good Reality exploration often sends you back to sharpen the Goal. And the coach's job in every stage is to ask and listen, not to supply: the client generates the goal, the picture of reality, the options and the commitment.
The four GROW stages, with 10 questions each
Goal
Agree what the client wants from this conversation and, behind it, from the wider situation. A good session goal is specific enough to know when you have reached it.
- What would you like to get out of our time today?
- What is the bigger goal this sits inside?
- How will you know this session was useful?
- What would success look like in three months?
- What matters most to you about this?
- If you had it, what would be different?
- How much of this is within your control?
- What is the first sign you would notice that things are moving?
- On a scale of 1–10, how important is this right now?
- What would you like to have decided or clarified by the end?
Reality
Explore what is actually happening now — facts, feelings, patterns, what has been tried — without the coach diagnosing. Awareness here does most of the work.
- What is happening right now?
- What have you already tried, and what happened?
- Who else is involved, and how do they see it?
- What is getting in the way?
- What do you notice yourself doing when this comes up?
- What are you assuming?
- On a scale of 1–10, where are you today?
- What is working, even a little?
- What are you not saying?
- What does this cost you?
Options
Generate possibilities before evaluating them. Quantity first; the client's own options, not the coach's suggestions dressed as questions.
- What could you do?
- What else? (ask it at least three times)
- If there were no constraints, what would you try?
- What would someone you admire do here?
- What have you seen work for others?
- What is the smallest step that would move this?
- What would you do if you were certain it would work?
- Which of these options gives you energy?
- What are the pros and cons of your top two?
- May I offer an observation? (only with permission, and then hand it back)
Will (Way forward)
Turn insight into commitment: what the client will do, by when, with what support, and how they will hold themselves accountable.
- What will you do?
- When will you do it?
- What might get in the way, and how will you handle it?
- Who needs to know?
- What support do you need?
- On a scale of 1–10, how committed are you? What would make it a 9?
- How will you know it is done?
- How would you like me to follow up?
- What did you take from this conversation?
- What is the very first step, today or tomorrow?
Example GROW coaching session
A condensed 15-minute session. Notice that the coach asks fewer than twenty questions and offers no advice; the client does the discovering.
Common GROW mistakes
Marching through the stages
GROW is a map for the coach, not an agenda to announce. If the client is still discovering Reality, do not drag them to Options because it is "time".
Options as disguised advice
"Have you considered…?" puts the coach's idea on the table. Ask "What else?" three times before you even think of offering an observation.
Weak or borrowed goals
A goal the client's manager set is not a coaching goal. Ask what the client wants for themselves inside it.
Skipping the Will
Ending on insight feels good and changes nothing. Get a specific action, a date, and how the client will know it is done.
When to use GROW — and when not to
Use it when
- • the client wants to move from a situation to an action
- • the topic is practical: a decision, a conversation, a plan
- • you are a newer coach and want a reliable spine for the session
- • you are coaching a team toward shared commitments
Set it aside when
- • the client needs to be heard, not moved — grief, loss, strong emotion
- • the work is about identity, values or beliefs rather than a task
- • the client keeps returning to the same story: name the pattern instead
- • you notice you are steering — stop, and follow the client
GROW vs T-GROW, CLEAR and OSKAR
| Model | Stages | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| GROW | Goal, Reality, Options, Will | Practical goals and decisions; the default for most coaches |
| T-GROW | Topic + GROW | Clients who arrive with a situation, not yet a goal |
| CLEAR | Contracting, Listening, Exploring, Action, Review | Longer engagements where contracting and review matter (Hawkins) |
| OSKAR | Outcome, Scale, Know-how, Affirm, Review | Solution-focused work; scaling questions and strengths |
GROW and the ICF Core Competencies
ICF does not require any model; it assesses the 8 Core Competencies. GROW maps onto them cleanly when the client leads: Goal is where you demonstrate Establishes and Maintains Agreements; Reality and Options are where Listens Actively and Evokes Awareness show up; Will is Facilitates Client Growth.
The scenarios on the ICF Credentialing Exam frequently punish GROW misuse — the option that "keeps the session on track" is often the worst response. Structure serves the client, never the other way round.
GROW model FAQ
What is the GROW coaching model?+
GROW is a four-stage structure for coaching conversations: Goal (what the client wants), Reality (what is happening now), Options (what they could do) and Will or Way forward (what they will do). It was developed in the 1980s by Graham Alexander, Alan Fine and Sir John Whitmore and popularised by Whitmore's book Coaching for Performance.
Is the GROW model approved by ICF?+
ICF does not approve or require any particular model. It assesses the 8 Core Competencies. GROW is compatible with them — Goal supports Establishing Agreements, Reality and Options support Evoking Awareness, Will supports Facilitating Client Growth — as long as the client, not the structure, leads the conversation.
What questions are used in the GROW model?+
Open questions for each stage, for example: Goal — 'What would you like to get out of our time today?'; Reality — 'What have you already tried?'; Options — 'What else could you do?'; Will — 'What will you do, and by when?'. This page lists ten questions per stage.
What is T-GROW?+
T-GROW adds a Topic stage before Goal: the client first describes the broad area they want to talk about, and only then narrows to a goal for the session. It helps when clients arrive with a situation rather than a clear objective.
When should you not use the GROW model?+
When the client needs space rather than structure — grief, identity work, strong emotion — or when a linear path to action would be premature. It also fails when the coach drives the stages instead of following the client; GROW is a map for the coach, not a script for the client.
Can GROW be used for team coaching?+
Yes. The same four stages structure a team session: a shared goal, a candid picture of current reality from multiple perspectives, options generated by the team, and commitments with owners and dates. Team coaching adds attention to dynamics and accountability between members.
Practise GROW with a client who talks back
Run a GROW session with a realistic AI client, then see which ICF competencies you demonstrated at each stage — and where the structure took over from the client.